It is a parent’s most agonising experience to find out that their child is addicted to drugs. But, you can look for the signs and nip the habit in the bud before it destroys your child’s health and life completely, says Shama Sheikh
When parents suspect and confirm that their child is on drugs, the nightmare begins. Apart from the social and health issues, a child’s addiction to drugs completely turns a family upside down. Adolescence is a difficult phase in a child’s life and to find out that your child is using or experimenting with drugs can make it even more difficult to deal with. If you suspect your child is on drugs, here is a list of what you should do as a parent.
Stop being so trusting
Drug addicts would say that their parents were easy to take advantage of because they were so trusting. They give their parents stories about why they were out late, or why they need more money and their parents trusted them and bought the stories. Be a little suspicious. Cross-check.
Check their bedrooms
Look under mattresses, under clothes in drawers, at the back of drawers, inside pockets of jeans,
on top of the geysers, in what would seem inaccessible places.
Look at your child
By that, I mean really look at your child. Is he red-eyed and gaunt? Does he have dark circles and mood swings? Has he lost appetite and weight? If your child has suddenly morphed into a stranger, alarm bells should start ringing in your head. Unexplained loss of temper at family members, staying out of the house without explanation for the absences, dirty clothes, loss of interest in personal hygiene, lack of interest in appearance, etc are other telltale signs. The physical signs would include pallor of skin, discolouration of eyes, tremor in the hands, poor co-ordination, dilated pupils, insomnia, drowsiness, sweating, watery eyes, and loss of appetite. A personality change might be another sign. A quiet child can become extroverted and boisterous and an outgoing child might become quiet and reserved. A child might suddenly get paranoid or suspicious or edgy.
Know your child’s friends
Get your kids to bring over their friends. Meet them, get to know them. Fix up so you meet their parents too and know their background. If your child has dropped all his old friends and is hanging out with a completely new bunch, you should be on your guard.
Drop in unexpectedly
Visit the place where your child says he will be, unannounced—at home, a class, at a friend’s place or at a mall. Keep a watch on your child. If that’s not possible, consider hiring surveillance to confirm your suspicions. Very often, kids procure drugs in open places like malls, parking lots, fast food restaurants, etc.
Be updated
Make sure you know the very latest on your child’s school/college attendance record and performance. Insist on meeting your child’s teachers regularly to figure out if there is something you need to know like chronic absenteeism, falling grades, behavioural problems in school, etc. A sudden drop in grades is an immediate sign that something is wrong.
Give the child limited money
Keep a track of where he spends the money. Insist on bills and receipts to confirm big ticket purchases or eating out if he claims so.
Check his vehicle
If your child has a vehicle of his own, check it after he has spent a late night out partying. Strange smells, small, green leaf-like particles, seeds, white powdery or paste residue on CD cases, dashboards, or mirrors could be signs that drugs were done in the car. Other signs could be finding things like rolling papers, pipes, empty alcohol bottles, soda cans, little baggies, lighters, vials, aluminium foil that has been lit, wearing sunglasses in the night, in the house or having Visine bottles to clear red eyes, the sudden burning of scented candles or incense in the room to cover smells, long periods of keeping the door locked or staying in the bathroom. The surest sign of course, is if you find money and valuables disappearing and no clue who could have robbed them.
Look through their belongings
That includes their bags, purses, wallets and backpacks. Take a call on whether you would do it with or without their permission. Be prepared to deal with anger, resentment and statements on the invasion of their privacy if you do, and be prepared to deal with what you may find.
Build a strong relationship
Don’t lose your temper or the next time your child might not tell you what is going on in his life. Get them the counselling and medical help they will need to get off and stay off drugs. Know that many teenagers experiment with drugs but only a small percentage of them become hardcore addicts.
