There are a host of conflicting emotions that play within us when we put our children onto the SCHOOL bus or drop them to school. With cases of molestation, abuse and murder being reported from leading schools around the country, parents are in a flux where safety of their children in school is concerned. Lachmi Deb Roy speaks to a few experts on how parents can educate their wards to stay safe in school.
A couple of months back, a seven-year-old boy was found dead inside the washroom of the Gurgaon-based Ryan International School. The class II boy’s body was found in the morning with his throat slit. Gurgaon police had arrested a bus conductor employed by Ryan International school. Police officials said that the killer attempted to sexually abuse the boy before murdering him. The conductor confessed to murdering the child and he said that he killed the seven-year-old boy when the kid resisted his attempts to sexually abuse him.
On the other hand, two teachers of the GD Birla Education Centre in south Kolkata were arrested under the Protection of Children from Sexual Offences or POSCO Act on Friday evening for sexually assaulting a four year old student on Thursday. The two men are the school’s PT teachers who allegedly lured the girl into the toilet by offering her chocolates and then sexually assaulted her.
"Dushtu Sir" or "Bad Sir" is what the child reportedly said when she picked out the photo of the two teachers from among many others. Abhishek Roy and Md Mofizul were arrested under sections 4 and 6 of POSCO act which could attract life imprisonment.
After a spate of such terrible incidents in school, the question that comes to every parent’s mind is how to keep our children safe in schools.
A parent drops a child to school in the hope that he/she is going to be taken care of. But this incident has shattered the hope of all the parents in the whole institution called ‘school’.
Awareness in kids
You certainly cannot scare your kids into not wanting to go to school anymore because of the fear that they might be molested and killed. But at the same time, you don’t want them to always take for granted that the staff in the school can keep them completely protected. So, it makes sense to educate your kids about good and bad touch. But at the same time, it is important to not overburden them with too much information.
Clinical psychologist Seema Hingorrany says, “Making your child aware about physical abuse should start at home. But that too should be done in a subtle way. Weave it in the course of communication. Don’t make it sound frightening by hitting the panic button. It is time that we as parents should prepare our children to articulate better. Make the communication interactive than being preachy don’t over expose the children to good and bad touch.”
Encourage open communication
Good communication between the parent and the child helps to build a bond. Focus on keeping the environment lively. Start your conversation with a friendly note so that they are inclined to open up about their dreams, struggles and fears.
“Always be patient and keep the communication gate open. In some cases, parents need to work on their listening skills. Tell your kids that anyone who makes them feel uncomfortable or engages in any kind of inappropriate talks with them, the child should inform teachers and parents,” says Hingorrany.
Meet the school authorities regularly
The best way to keep in touch with the school’s safety policy and follow up with the safety issues is to meet teachers and the administrators on a regular basis. If the school does not encourage parent-teacher interaction, it is not wise to put your child in that school.
Academician Suparna Sinha says, “When we leave our children in the hands of the school authority, we assume that the child is in safe hands. Ideally, the school authorities should have a proper check of the employees. They should carry out a police verification at the time of employment. Parents should check on the first day itself, if the school is vigilant towards the entry of strangers or not. Check the CCTVs and find out if it is operating properly or not. It is a must according to the rules of CBSE. But it is sad that seldom do we find them in the appropriate places. And most of the time, they are not functioning properly.”
Business first
As parents, one needs to be careful which school one is sending one's child to. “Most schools these days don’t go for quality. They just want to get staff at a low salary. The only thing that matters to the management these days is how much money they can make and how much money they can save,” adds Suparna.
What parents can do
Parents need to be equally aware about what is happening in school, despite not being physically present. “I make it a point to sit with my daughter the moment she comes back from school. The days when I am not at home, I call her to figure if things at her end are fine. This makes me familiar with what’s happening in school and how her day was at school. No matter how busy
I am I make it a point to attend all the PTI meetings. This I feel gives the staff of the school the perception that I take active interest in my daughter’s upbringing, says Reema Khanna, a parent and a freelance writer.
