One night, I was suddenly left very restless due to hot flashes. My entire body was covered in sweat. I woke Samir up, and he immediately switched on the AC. He brought me a glass of cold water and stayed up with me. When I started to feel a little better, he put me back to sleep, and a little while later said with a smile, “Happy hormones, darling.”
I once came across an article about menopause; it talked about the different physical and mental changes that a woman goes through during this time and how the members of her family should care for her. Even though I knew that I still had a long way to go, I asked my 17-year-old daughter Siddhi to read the article too.
She laughed and said, “Oh mom, why are you worrying about these things right now? When the time comes, we will see what is to be done,” The conversation ended there. Even after that, I continued to read articles about menopause in various newspapers. I kept thinking about how I would spend those years of my life. Being a happy, joyful person, I wondered if menopause would make me angry or moody. I have always been a fitness freak; I go for walks, I do yoga, and I pay careful attention to what I eat. Will these things not work anymore once I reach that stage? I worried endlessly about what would happen. Will my mood swings cause a disturbance in our quiet and happy household? The next few years passed with such thoughts continuously plaguing my mind.
Whenever I came across an article that dealt with this subject, I would read it carefully. I tried my best to keep my behavior controlled and in check. I mentioned this to my husband Samir as well.
He laughed it off, and said, “Sarita, you sure are being ridiculous. You’re waiting for this stage of your life as though someone is going to interview you and ask about your preparations for it. Why do you worry so much about this? When the time comes, we’ll see about it,” Then it slowly started to happen that things that used to make me laugh, would suddenly make me angry. Siddhi and her sister Samruddhi, who was three years younger than her, were left shocked. They could not understand why their mother was angry when she was laughing and smiling just a while ago. I would scream at them, and then have to remind myself that they are only kids. And every time I felt angry, I would wonder—is this the start of menopause?
Has hormonal imbalance started? But what could I do, it was what it was. Sometimes I would feel overwhelmed with happiness, and at other times I would feel my eyes well up at the smallest of things. Later, I would be appalled at my own behavior. In spite of reminding myself to think my actions through and remain calm, I would easily lose my temper and take my anger out on Siddhi, Samruddhi, and sometimes even Samir. Later, I would regret it and feel bad about it.
I found myself in the same situation once. I was so angry with all three of them that I continued to fret and fume for a long time. They tried to comfort me for a little while, but gave up and resorted to silence after that. When I calmed down, I felt extremely embarrassed. I apologised to all three of them. Siddhi came and sat beside me, because she knew that I regretted my behavior.
“I don’t know what overcomes me,” I said, sniffling. “I get angry all of a sudden, and then the feeling vanishes just as quickly as it had come,” Siddhi said, “Mom, could these be the mood swings of menopause,” Something about the way she said it was hilarious to me, and I burst out laughing.
“Yes mom,” she continued with conviction. “That is exactly what was written in that article. I am sure that this is the cause for your mood swings. You love us so dearly, there can be no other reason why you would get so angry with us,” I couldn’t help but laugh.
Siddhi was giggling too. “Just see what I do now, mom,”
When I shot her a questioning glance, she said, “Wait and watch,”
From then on, Siddhi became less of a daughter and more of a friend to me. She would find the solutions to my problems within only minutes. Once when I lost my temper with Samir, she asked him to keep quiet. He was confused.
“Mom is having mood swings,” Siddhi explained. “She’ll be fine in a bit,”
Smiling to himself, Samir sat down quietly. Everyone was happy once I had calmed down.
The next incident happened a few days later. Samruddhi came home late. I had been awaiting her return for a long time now. When she came back, I expressed my anger.
She said, “I informed you that I would come late, mom. A lot of kids came to play today. We all had a really great time,” I paid no attention to her words and started to scream at her. Siddhi took Samruddhi to the other room. I could hear their voices inside.
She said, “Samruddhi, don’t retaliate.
Mom’s hormones are giving her a hard time.
We have to take care of her, I have read about this in a magazine.”
“Really?” Samruddhi asked, shocked. “Is that so?”
“Mom is in the middle of young and old age right now. Some hormones put her in a very bad mood. So whenever she gets angry, all we have to say is, ‘Happy Hormones, mom!’”
I laughed heartily for the first time in what felt like forever. Siddhi’s innovative new idea made me smile for a long time. Everyone else laughed along with me. From that day onwards, every time I thought I was going to lose my temper, I’d imagine what would happen next—I would get angry, they would say ‘Happy Hormones, mom!’ and we would all laugh.
A few months passed after that. One night, I was suddenly left very restless due to hot flashes. My entire body was covered in sweat. I woke Samir up, and he immediately switched on the AC. He brought me a glass of cold water and stayed up with me. When I started to feel a little better, he put me back to sleep, and a little while later said with a smile, “Happy hormones, darling.” It was around 4 o’clock in the morning and I burst out laughing. Samir continued to joke around, and after that, we both freshened up and had a cup of tea.
We left for our morning walk as usual.
But the whole time, I couldn’t help but think that with my loving family by my side, I would easily get through menopause—a time I had dreaded for so long.
