This is the story of Aruna. Aruna was the star of her parent’s eyes. Born a single child to an upper middle class family, Aruna was brought up like a princess. Everything she wanted, every wish, every desire, every demand was fulfilled. Despite this, Aruna was brought up in a sensible manner and always remained grounded. Aruna’s childhood passed by in a blur of happiness. Her parents did everything to make her smart and independent.
She was never forced to learn any household chores, in fact, her parents ensured that Aruna focussed on her studies and her career. Aruna grew up to be sweet, sensitive, independent, yet still a bit mischievous. Aruna was living life queen size until one day a wedding proposal came.
The proposal came from within the family. The boy was an engineering graduate and was doing well for himself. Aruna’s family was not prepared to marry her as she had just turned 21, but they could not resist the proposal. Her family could’ve asked for some time but the groom’s mother had passed away recently and there was a need for a lady in the house. Aruna’s parents could not enquire much in haste.They couldn’t even manage to visit their daughter-in-law’s place. The only thing they knew was that the groom’s name was Amit; an engineering graduate, 26 years old, employed with a private firm; the eldest in five siblings. This seemed to be enough information for them at that time. But they hardly comprehended the responsibility and the kind of expectations their daughter would have to meet within her new home. Aruna’s parents did whatever they could to marry their sweetheart in a rushed wedding.
Though Aruna was wedded in much haste, she was excited about this milestone in her life. However, Aruna’s first night was not the way she had envisioned it to be. Aruna’s illusion of being a cherished wife and daughter-in-law was shattered to pieces when she stepped into her husband’s one bedroom home filled to the brim with the family of eight members now. She came from a house where she had her own sweet independent room. This night was a nightmare for her!
The next day morning, she realised that there was no help at home and everyone had great expectations from her. Soon Aruna had to quit her job to look after her family. Her entire day was occupied with cleaning, sweeping, cooking, doing all the chores by herself. She valiantly struggled for a week but then overwhelmed, ran away to her parent’s house. Her parents understood her pain but convinced her to accept it as her destiny and sent her back. Aruna’s parents loved her with all their heart but were broken when they realised how miserable their beloved daughter was. They tried talking to Amit, their son-in-law, but were turned aggressively away by him. Amit in fact even stopped Aruna from meeting her parents after that day.Aruna’s parents did not want to end this month old marriage and chose to accept the destiny. They taught their daughter to remain silent.
Aruna was naturally upset with her parents, Amit, herself and everything, but had no option but to accept the situation. She learned to kill herself, her desires and compromise on each step of her life. She smiled but forgot to laugh, learned to cook but forgot to feed her soul, got abused but forgot to complain; she adjusted but forgot to live. In a nutshell, she lost herself to save her marriage.
Aruna soldiered on through the years. She became a good homemaker, a good wife, a good daughter-in-law and a good mother. But in her heart, she could never forgive her parents.
Her partner though well-educated and smart, often took his anger out on her. He abused her vocally and sometimes even physically. If ever she tried to resist, he humiliated and ridiculed her. Her growing children would watch this silently and get scared. She now chose to keep quiet to save her children the painful effects of her bad marriage. Her children sympathised with her but challenged and questioned her for not earning and becoming independent. She would listen to all this and just smile back. Over the years she lost her confidence to go out alone, speak to people independently, give her opinion in public and stand up for herself. She had no control on her life and thoughts. It was always others who made decisions for her. Time flew by but everything remained unchanged until it was time for her son to get married.
Aruna’s daughter-in-law was a bank executive and an outgoing smart girl. However, she too was advised to quit her job as her new family thought she wouldn’t be able to manage both work and home. She refused and this caused an uproar in the family. A family meeting was called for. Everyone sat around the table. Aruna as usual had no input in the family decision and was cooking in the kitchen. There were heated arguments in the room. Aruna could hear Amit’s pitch and aggression rising by the minute. Amit passed the verdict for his wife to quit and follow in the footsteps of Aruna. The young girl tried to put her point across many times but her voice went unheard. After about an hour, she finally became silent and broke down. In a trembling voice she said, “I have given up my life for what I am today and you want me to give it all up”.
Aruna watched all this from her kitchen. Her entire past came alive in front of her. She saw herself in her daughter-in-law. History was repeating itself, and one more life was getting sacrificed in the name of responsibility. She knew she was not happy and neither would her daughter-in-law be. She knew that if there was someone who could stop this from happening, it was her. She had to break her silence and speak today. She gathered what was left of her courage and stepped out from within the confines of the kitchen. To her shock, she saw her son raising his hand to slap her daughter-in-law. She would just not let this happen, she rushed over to him, slapped away his hand and shouted in anger, “This will not happen… I will not let it happen again… Yes, I will not be born again… I will not kill my dreams… I will not kill my smiles… I will not die again…”.
The room was filled with silence. No one had ever heard Aruna raise her voice. Everyone sat in stunned silence. Aruna’s voice was full of strength. It was a voice of change, a voice of courage. Aruna hugged her daughter-in-law and said, “There will not be another me in you”.
Aruna said, “She will do what she wants and I respect her for that. I have done enough for this family and seen today that my efforts have gone in vain. I have taught you a wrong lesson in life, to disrespect a woman. A woman is a pillar of strength and she compromises her dreams only for love. But soon her love is misunderstood as her weakness and this is disrespecting a woman. She is no less in any shape or form. I will not be born again today. But she will live her life and I will enable her. The woman in me will make sure she gets enough respect and space to live in my home…
Yes, my home.”
Saying this, Aruna grasped her daughter-in-law’s hand and walked out of there. Her daughter-in-law had helped her find herself and she promised that she would never sacrifice herself at the altar of responsibility ever again. There would be no going back for her.
-Ruchi Gupta
