Strong and lasting bonds should be nurtured and valued so that they are the harbingers of peace and harmony in our lives. Trust, goodwill, compassion, forgiveness, peace, love and above all, sharing joys and sorrows are the seven cardinal cornerstones of close ties. As long as these are respected, a relationship can bring great rewards, says Vimla Patil
There is a cute story about a mother and her little daughter. The young mother, it says, was sitting with her office colleagues at her home, celebrating their good business results and sharing their experiences. As the merriment went on, the five-year-old daughter of the hostess came around and began to tug at her mother's saree asking her to come with her. Excusing herself, the mother accompanied the child to the window to see what fascinated her. And wonder of wonders, a clutch of multi-coloured butterflies could be seen gamboling in the lush foliage just outside the window. The mother and daughter shared this rare and beautiful sight and came back into the room smiling and happily holding each other. The mother joined her group, perhaps not realising that she had created a small memory block with her child and that such memories would bring them closer in a bond of love for their entire lives. The trust with which the child approached the mother and the joy with which the mother answered her call was a way of building a life-long, loving relationship of trust. For the mother, her business success and discussions with colleagues were as important as it was to excuse herself and share the wonder that her daughter had discovered and wanted.
Trust is the basis of a successful relationship
Great friendships, love affairs and family ties have been celebrated because of this factor. You are relaxed and peaceful in the company of the family member, friend or colleague who has earned your trust. It makes your conversation flow naturally and smoothly. Both parties are happy to talk without reservation and with freedom which is rare in human relationships. When you trust someone, you are not holding back your feelings or information about yourself or your life. You seek understanding, camaraderie and help when needed.
The “I am always there for you” spirit brings you closer to each other. For instance, children trust their parents—as the story above illustrates—and parents, if they reciprocate, trust their children implicitly. Trust creates a certain comfort level among friends and family. It also helps to build excellent rapport between people and is the foundation of a strong relationship.
Compassion and goodwill play a major role
In the modern world of cut-throat competition and insatiable hunger for money and the things it can buy, compassion and goodwill are of special importance among friends and families. Envy and jealousy destroy goodwill to such an extent that many families or erstwhile friends do not talk to each other for years. This is why compassion is a rare but valuable quality for us to cultivate. Nothing ties people together like compassion. This world is a shared home for all of us. We have the same qualities in different proportions. Love, affection, envy, jealousy and ego are common among all. So a ‘holier than thou’ attitude is ruled out.
When your family, spouse or friends need your help, listen deeply and with concentration. Words are your link to the heart of the speaker. What is the message your friend or family member is giving you? Listen with your heart and you will understand. Then ask what help is needed to make the situation better or to share the joy as the case may be. Compassion is a divine quality and unfailingly adds vibrancy to relationships. If you have goodwill for all because you realise that all of us are on the ‘same journey’, you will be a gentle and radiant person.
Forgiveness gives you peace of mind
Feel empathy for those who have done wrong and are repenting. In your own interest, forgive those who have done you harm unfittingly. However, you should observe caution and avoid or stay away from the company who use you or abuse your generosity all the time. It is fair to put people out of your life when they cause you harm or constant worry. But in your heart, do not carry a feeling of revenge or return the hurt. Respond to every offer of friendship by making up with those who have had a difference of opinion with you—but only within your capacity. In life, always choose love rather than hatred to earn peace of mind and happiness.
Peace and love strengthen your bond
Peace and love are two aspects that go hand in hand as each generates the other. Create peaceful islands among friends and family members to renew to strengthen your ties. Most important, remember that all your efforts of earning peace and love are for your own mental, emotional as well as physical well-being.
Humour and beauty add joy
Sharing unforgettable moments with your loved ones wherein you bask in the beauty of nature are a source of joy for everyone. Share every experience of beauty with your loved ones. Bring humour into your lives and laugh a great deal to make your relationships fun and enjoyable. Shared sorrow too brings people together.
Live in a spirit of gratitude
Appreciate the good in others and acknowledge the value of the relationship you have with each friend or family member—especially your spouse or partner. Remember, gratitude is the foundation of a happy life. Look for and be aware of the positive qualities in others. Be sure to acknowledge the difference that people make to your life and appreciate their contribution to your success. Also, be proud of your own qualities, and use them to enrich your life. Your relationship with yourself will then
be equally healthy and enjoyable as other relationships.
