“Ragini, don’t misunderstand Sia. In fact, all of us live in our comfort zone. It can be said that it’s a habit; there are different ways of living. Life runs on those ways of living and slightest change or interference makes one feel helter-skelter.”
“Did you talk to her,” Anurag asked.
“I will do it,” Ragini replied. “I am thinking to talk to her when I get the right opportunity. Anyway, she got fed up of her boss and left her job, and is busy searching for another one. Let her relax a little, I will talk her, but I don’t think she will have any problem. She likes you.”
“She does like me. But, in what way…? We’ve to think about that too. Maybe she likes me as your friend or as her superior, nothing more than that. Maybe, she isn’t ready to accept me.”
Ragini was taken aback by Anurag’s words. She did not look at it from this perspective. Hence, she said, “She does like you! How can we restrain those feelings and give a boundary to it? If someone likes you, then they like you as a whole, which includes all kinds of relations, right?”
“You are unable to understand, Ragini. Siya is not a kid who can accept relationships with ease or adjust to a new relationship which will take time for her. She is mature; she has her own opinions and knows to give a name or a tag to a relationship. I do not think it is going to be easy for her to accept me. You have to be careful when you talk to her.”
“But she can respect our wishes and happiness.”
“No, Ragini, I cannot thrust my wishes and happiness onto her. It will be an injustice to her, and in this way, there will be bitterness between the three of us. You will end up living in guilt, and in the process of keeping Siya happy I will suck the life out of you. Don’t hurry, I will lead my life alone, but Siya’s life has just begun and her happiness is of primary importance.”
“Siya, I want to talk to you regarding something.”
One evening, Ragini said this to Siya while handing her a cup of tea.
“I know that you will propose not to get involved in the search of job and to give a hand at your book shop. Buddy is there to help you out, he anyway sits on his laptop, he gets some content to write and you get help too. I wonder where he gets books from, he is a genius.”
“Why are you complimenting me,” Anurag countered, slightly amused. “Nobody is a bigger genius than you. The talks that go around about your photography!
It would be nice if you convert this passion into your profession.”
“Oh! No, I am not an expert as of now,” Siya said. “But one fine day, I will submit my pictures for an exhibition. So, please make mother understand and ask her not to drag me into her book shop.”
“No,” Ragini spoke. She was trying to redirect the conversion back to her concern. “I want to talk to you regarding something else.”
“Maybe later, I am going to a party right now. Please go sleep.”
“It is very difficult to talk to this girl, Anurag,” Ragini whispered, sighing and shaking her head. Siya had already gone to her room to get ready for the party.
“Don’t get tensed,” Anurag assured. He comforted Ragini by giving her a hug. While they were embracing, they did not notice that Sia had returned to collect her phone. Siya was shocked and angered at the same time. Without making any noise, she dashed off to her room.
Ragini and Anurag who were oblivious of Siya seeing them embrace each other, jolted apart when they heard sudden noises of things being thrown around. The noise was coming from Siya’s room; they ran to her room.
“How could you do this? I saw you hugging Buddy! You cheated on papa,” Siya accused Ragini with unshed tears in her eyes. “I had a feeling that you started developing feelings for Buddy. No! You cannot do this. I love only my father…Mother you betrayed me with Buddy…” she was screaming and tossing things continuously.
“Sia, listen,” Anurag wished to say something.
“Please leave! I don’t want to listen to you. I only wish to live with Ragini, and I don’t want outsiders!”
“Sia, please think before you speak. Anurag is not an outsider,” Ragini scolded her daughter, while trying to control the situation.
“Relax, Ragini, I am leaving. Please handle Sia with care.”
“I did not cheat on your father Sia,’ Ragini spoke, her voice clear and full with emotions. It was some time later when Anurag had left, Siya had calmed down a bit and Ragini thought of confessing to her daughter. She continued, “I still love your dad as much. But, it has been 15 years since he left us. I brought you up all by myself. I had you, but the loneliness I was living was too much to bear by my own. And then, later on, when I met Anurag two years back, I felt as if both of us could share it. You already know how his wife and daughter passed away in an accident. After your father’s death, everyone suggested a second marriage, but I got busy bringing you up and now if the both of us want to spend our lives together then…”
“Mother, I don’t know whether it is love or your physical needs that’s pulling you towards Anurag. I will never let him replace father.”
“Enough is enough! I thought that my daughter understands me. Anyway, we will not take any decision without your permission.”
Next day, Ragini went over to Anurag’s place and wept.
“Ragini, don’t misunderstand Sia. In fact, all of us live in our comfort zone. It can be said that it’s a habit; there are different ways of living. Life runs on those ways of living and the slightest change or interference makes one feel helter-skelter. Think for yourself and tell me–when a guest stays over for a couple of days we end up feeling like our routine has been disturbed. Truthfully, a change in our tied up lives is very uncomfortable and unacceptable. Sia has her own comfort zone, in which only you exist. If I enter her life, we must surely expect her revolt. Today, she shares everything with you. She will now realize that we are going to be alone in the house and that you too have some privacy, and she will have to respect that. Before entering your room, she will have to knock the door. Whereas, currently she can come in as she pleases. She feels she has the right over your belongings. She will not be at ease at all. For sure, in a while, she will get out of her comfort zone. Don’t misunderstand her. Kids these days link physical needs as love. But, Ragini, they are not selfish. Give her time, how can you expect her to give her father’s place to someone else. In fact, I haven’t forgotten Shika and Suhani, I think we should stop seeing each other.”
It got pretty tight between Ragini and Sia for the following days. Ragini got back to normal in a couple of days and got busy with her work but Sia remained unnaturally quiet. Only one thing kept pricking her and that was how her mother fell in love with someone at this age. She would stand in front of her father’s photo and cry for hours together. At times, she would feel that even her mother has the right to live her life the way she wants. After her father left, her mother has only invested time in bringing her up and spent her life that way. Is she being selfish?
After that, whenever Sia visited the book shop, on seeing Buddy’s empty chair, emptiness would sink into her. She did like Buddy, but he would live with her mother in the same room… No, this cannot happen. Ragini belongs only to her and nobody can succeed in getting into her comfort zone. Maybe, she has entered mother’s and Buddy’s comfort zone. She noticed her mother’s sadness behind her smile. Till when is she going to forsake her happiness?
She was planning on making her mother meet her boyfriend Som, but this took place.
“What is wrong about it,” Som countered Sia. She was taken aback by his reaction.
“Som, don’t you find it awkward that my mother is seeing someone at this age very?”
“Sia, on one hand you find yourself very progressive and on the other hand you find it hard to accept relationships. Think with an open mind and heart and let her live her life. This does not mean that her love for your father will decrease. At times, relationships are just based on sharing and caring, just like their relationship. At this stage of life, if they want share their happiness together, why are you finding
it hard?”
Something in Siya twisted unpleasantly. She realized she overreacted a lot.
After ringing Buddy’s doorbell, Siya almost changed her mind and decided to leave. But the door opened and Anurag emerged.
“How are you Sia? Come inside.”
“Buddy, please come to our place for dinner today. We haven’t played a game of carom board in such a long time. You always loose. Is that the reason why you never visited?”
Anurag was quite speechless. They stared at each other till she surprised him more–she crashed herself to him and began to sob like a child.
Anurag sighed with relief. His arms were on her back–patting her, comforting her.
