He must have spent so many nights staying awake. There must have been so much sadness in his life that he reached a stage where he doesn’t want to stay alone anymore. Roger had rightly said, “Life is too small to ignore even a small ray of hope.”
I was tired after being busy over the past couple of days, so I took a break today. I thought I would relax a little. Kapil had already left for work, so I made coffee for myself and was sitting on the terrace when my brother called from Chicago. He said in anger, “Anu, did you read the mail that dad sent? At this age, he wants to get married again. Has he gone mad? How can he forget mom so soon? How can he replace our mother with another woman? And that Anjali also turned out to be really cunning. She tried getting close to dad when he was sick and now she is thinking of settling down in our house. Along with spoiling his name, he will ruin our reputation too. I will never come back to India.”
Brother said a lot of things;
I simply listened without uttering a word. I wanted to yell at him and ask him how many times had he come to India any way. From the day his company sent him to Chicago from Pune, he had never once turned back. Just after a little while, he got involved with his colleague, Reena Bhabhi for us now. Very soon he wanted to tie the knot. Mom-dad too had no objections. All they wanted was for their son to get married in India. But this wish too was not fulfilled, since Bhabhi’s family was settled in Chicago. So, the marriage took place in Chicago, and only Dad and I attended the marriage. Mom’s ill health did not permit her to travel all that far.
Two years later, I got married to Kapil; he was employed in an IT company, and was settled in New York. At that time, my brother and his wife visited India for a month, but stayed at home only for eight days. Now when I think about it, I realize how wrong is the notion that only daughters become strangers after marriage. Isn’t it the same for sons too?
It’s been three years now that mother has passed away. After mum passed away, dad was sinking into the depths of depression with each passing day. Last year I stayed with dad for two months. At that time, Anjali had just shifted to our neighbourhood. We used to meet her during our morning walks. Anjali used to live alone because her husband had passed away. Her only son was settled in London. Anjali and dad easily connected to each other because both were sad and lonely. She had also come over for tea once or twice. Three days before my flight back to New York, dad caught a viral fever. I was really worried. I was thinking about postponing the flight. Anjali then assured of taking care of my father and put all my worries to rest.
Gradually, friendship bloomed between dad and Anjali. I was happy since dad had company now. But this sudden decision of getting married to her has put me in dilemma as well. I decided to share this with Kapil over tea.
“Hey, this is great news. Why are you so disturbed by this?” I was taken aback by Kapil’s reaction. I said, “You must be faking happiness in front of me. Deep inside you must be laughing at my dad!”
Offended, Kapil said, “We are together since so many years and you think like this about me? I am not heartless, Anu, to not understand dad’s loneliness. Forget about me; what’s keeping you from being happy about dad’s decision?”
“I was a little concerned about your reaction. Also, like my brother, I too was wondering what people would say. Marriage, that too at this age?”
Kapil smiled and said, “Anu, do you remember the day when you could not tire of praising Roger and his family, and now when the same thing is needed for your father, you forgot everything?”
As soon as I heard Roger’s name, all the events of the past few days came rushing back. One day, when we were working Roger told me, “Anu, tomorrow my mom and Mr Davidson are getting married. On that occasion, I am throwing a party in the evening. You and Kapil should come.”
“Mom’s marriage?” I asked, as I was amused. Roger said, “Yes Anu, my mom and dad got divorced a few years ago. Mom has struggled a lot to raise me. If she wanted, she could have married someone else at that time as well. But she did not do that because of me. Now that I'm settled, I want my mom to be happy. Happiness is better enjoyed when shared with someone, who will be one’s companion for life. So that’s why I am getting my mom married to Mr Davidson. Both of them need each other. Life is too small to ignore even a small ray of hope.”
I was really impressed with what Roger said.
The party was a grand one and Roger, his mom and Mr Davidson all of them looked very happy. For several days, I constantly praised Roger’s open mindedness. “Anu, are you listening?” asked Kapil patting my shoulder, pulling me out of my thought chain. “This is the problem with us Indians. We come here, in this foreign country and immediately adopt the fashion here, but fail to appreciate the culture of this country which is the greatest.”
“What do you mean?”
“Here, happiness and desires are not dependent on the age of the person. People here live with the belief that every person has the right to live a happy life. The value of happiness is equal for both the old and the young. Isn’t it true that we want freedom for ourselves and we keep our loved ones in bonds? We keep them in bondage by thinking what will people say. Anu, dad is not giving mum’s place to anybody, he is just looking for a support for the rest of his life. Will it be justified to call them here at this phase of his life? He did come here once, but did that make him happy? It is not possible either. We both are always out all day. Within three months, he went back. You tell me, will you able to understand his loneliness? Anu, every age has its own stage of realisation. Only people of that age will understand them. Just accept the fact, Anu, that you can never give dad the type of support and relief that Anjali could give. Why to stop dad from being happy just because our society is judgemental? Worry about your loved ones instead of others. What will happen to anyone, if the father chooses to live his remaining life happily? In life, isn't it better to walk by holding someone's light, rather than walking and falling alone?”
Tears rolled down my cheeks.
I could imagine my dad smiling more clearly now. Now that all the bad thoughts had cleared from my mind, I could connect to dad’s perspective better. Mom had lost her life just two years after dad’s retirement. Now, for the past three years, he has been living with nothing but loneliness. He doesn’t even get to eat good food. Mom used to cook delicious food for dad, used to take care of him. There is no one in his life to do all that now. If he falls sick, no one is there to even offer him a glass of water. He eats whatever the maid cooks for him and if one day the maid takes a day off, he survives on bread. Hence, he often falls sick. In fact, we go abroad in the eager to earn more money and expect old and helpless parents to live as we say.
Dad had written in his mail, “Both me and Anjali wanted to remain only friends and support each other by staying together. But you know how our society is. It won’t accept a simple friendship between a man and a woman easily. I don’t want any questions to be raised about Anjali's character; hence I thought of getting married to her and giving this relationship a name. I believe that after understanding my situation, you will accept this relationship too.”
My heart became heavy with thoughts. I was feeling guilty thinking about him. What’s the point of being a daughter when I couldn’t even understand what dad was going through? I could not even see that he was suffering. The old saying stands true now; we have to touch it to feel it. How can we know how lonely dad is by living so far away? There must have been so much sadness in his life that he reached a stage where he doesn't want to stay alone anymore. Roger had rightly said, “Life is too small to ignore even a small ray of hope.” I wiped off my tears and said holding his hands, “Thank you Kapil, you showed me the correct path; you filled my mind with positivity.”
“All right! Now we need to go to India, to extend moral support to our dad and welcome Anjali to our house,” said Kapil, pulling my cheeks. My heart was filled with joy upon hearing that, making me smile the widest.
- Renu Mandal
