Social media has truly changed the way we communicate. A post with a picture has more likes than a post without a picture. And we would be lying if we said that we don’t get influenced by it. So, are we part of what is known as a social narcissism epidemic? Lachmi Deb Roy delves deeper.
We have all been there, and done that. Posted a picture on one of the popular social media sites, and checked our phone at least 20 times in a span of half an hour just to see how many likes the post has garnered. While it is okay to indulge in this kind of behaviour once in a while, if you find yourself doing this all too often (read multiple times, every day), you might be a victim of social media narcissism.
Behaviours such as attempting to attract more followers, wanting to tell followers about your life, and the need to project a positive image at all times have been described by researchers as examples of exhibiting narcissistic personality traits on social media.
Delving deep
Analysing this rapidly growing social trend, Priyam Sinha, Research Scholar from the Tata Institute of Social Sciences in Mumbai, says, “In the past one decade, use of social media platforms has increased immensely. While on a positive note, it helps people stay in touch with people from all corners of the globe, the flip side is that it gives rise to various mental disorders, with a drastic impact on the psycho-social well-being of adolescents.” Elaborating further, Sinha says, “Social media platforms have created a certain need of matching up to the standards of projecting a certain lifestyle which demarcates the society into haves and have-nots, body image perceptions solely on the basis of a prototype created on the perceptions of male gaze, machoism, notions of femininity and masculinity and not to forget, a selfie-obsession, considered a psychological disorder by the American Psychiatric Association. The constant need for updating profiles to project a positive social image and lifestyle to the world around leads to a sense of inferiority complex among those who are unable to match up to the societal expectation.”
Self-promotion and validation
Never has it been so easy than now for individuals to rise from relative obscurity to internet fame through clever use of online platforms such as Instagram that relies on the number of likes and views of a video. Priyam says, “This kind of instant gratification through voyeurism is utterly irresistible for the average social media user. Thus, we have become both the audience and creator of this cultural phenomenon which perpetuates this constant need for validation by not just immediate friends but society as a whole. PDA, hashtags and the check-ins determine the popularity of all those who feel the dire need for projecting their life as the most happening. The uploads on social media and the failure to live up to the standards set has been leading to a higher number of cases reporting depression, loneliness and identity crises largely comprising the youth in the 20s-30s.”
What is behind this social narcissism?
The story of Narcissus is well known and enough discussed.
Psychiatrist Dr Tanay Maity says, “We all probably have a Narcissus within us. Such ‘traits’ manifest themselves at the time when our egos get challenged by the environment. Peer pressure, constant criticism and challenges both at home and office make us upset and fragile and creates a void—one that needs to be fed with constant praise, counting the ‘likes’ and getting ‘comments’ about the ‘count of likes’ (with overt and covert comparison on who is getting more likes) on social media. Even an iota of criticism can lead to a week-long war on social media, very often leading to relationships going kaput.”
“The pleasure pathway in the brain needs constant stimulus to give us back the highs and ‘kicks’ by whatever means we can get it for ourselves; and often we land up at quick or instant gratification by any means, preferably the readily available ones, and what can do it better than constant showering of likes and appreciative words and OMGs!” Little wonder that youngsters are lapping up the multiple apps available to sharpen, brighten and alter the taken pictures for those two minutes of fame.
Psychologist Padma Rewari says, “A narcissistic personality disorder stems from any extreme pattern of behaviour over a period of time which seems more of an environmental trigger and past experiences. The person is all about me, seeking solace in appreciation and acceptance, be it strangers or people he or she may know. In social media you are not meeting the person face-to-face and no one is judgemental on your face.” Padma adds, “I know of someone who uploaded some 30-40 pictures in a day. When intervened, she initially revealed being extremely proud with the number of likes and comments it got her. But eventually, it was revealed that she was a victim of constant criticism and comparison by her husband. Unable to handle this rejection, she sought respite in social media, which slowly got addictive, and led her to putting her best self out on social media. The comments that came in pepped her up and led to a narcissistic thought of getting recognition at least somewhere.” But, somewhere the subconscious mind was still fighting the complex in her and the confidence she portrayed via her pics were all fake. Now, though narcissism is not an inborn trait but a trigger of past experiences, just like any other extreme pattern of behaviour, this disorder too needs to be rectified before it gets chronic. Positive projection is all for acceptance and where you feel no one is being judgemental.”
So, is social media fostering a runaway narcissism or is it merely providing a platform for what is already there? Author Nandita Bose says, “I think the success of Facebook or Instagram is about how isolated and fragmented we are. Real lives are so arid and uncertain that the temporary solace of social media has come to replace it. I don’t see it to be preening or being insincere as much as a desperate bid to be liked and even loved by a larger group of people who may otherwise have been inaccessible. I have seen many instances where people find their tribe on social media.”
Well, with a mixed bag of the good and the bad, the trick here is clearly in understanding where to draw the line.
