There are times when passion fades out of a relationship, making it seem dull and monotonous.
P. Shraddha shares tips to bring back that spark of romance into your life.
very relationship begins with the honeymoon stage, undeniably the most exciting stage of all. There’s tremendous energy, high-octane emotions and, of course, a heightened sense of sexual attraction. The soaring levels of dopamine, the feel-good signals in your body, will leave a trail of physical highs.
But a few months into high-dopamine stage of the relationship, and things, most likely, take a U-turn. As life gets in the way post the honeymoon stage of a relationship, love might seem to have flown out of the window.
But there are ways to swing back the attraction levels. Read on to find out how to get back to being the irresistible you.
Drive the love-making
Research suggests that men find absolutely nothing sexier than a woman making the first move. In fact, one of their favourite sexual fantasies is to be dominated by their lover. It makes them feel wanted, desired and, sometimes, manly. So lock the door, dim the lights, switch on your favourite music and grab him before he makes a move. With you taking charge, the game is just going to be hotter and wilder. What more satisfying start can there be?
Kick it up a notch
Making the moves you know he loves is sexy, we agree. But sticking to the same routine and techniques can make sex boring and mechanical. Moreover, men like it when you pay attention to what turns them on. So the next time, why not play the discovery game? Run your fingers on him—or better still, your tongue—as you explore the love-spots and turn-ons hidden in him.Whisper into his ears sweet nothings, asking him to talk about his fantasies. So what if you are not prepared right then to realise them for him, just knowing that you wanted to even hear about them would have led him to high heaven. Then, with each touch, watch him swoon with pleasure.
A pampering sojourn
What would make a day perfect for your man? Think about everything that would make him wish it never ends. By that, we mean every single thing. To get things rolling, tag on to the adage, “A way to a man’s heart is through his stomach.” Wake him up with a morning kiss in your out-of-shower look—it almost never fails to get a man. Bring him his favourite breakfast in bed, done to perfection. Follow it up with tickets to a movie or game that he’s been hoping to catch. But remember not to let the day wear you out, for you do plan to end the day on a sexy note, don’t you? Ensure your favourite, sexiest lingerie is lined up and ready for the task at hand.
Let the dress-up games begin
Men may not like waiting for you to get ready, but this is one dress-up game they would love to be party to. Both of you can dress up as you would for a night out, only to stay in. Bring out the bronzers, lipsticks and highlighters, and put on your little black dress and high heels, while he gets into his Tux. Match your fragrances and hit the high note. Or take the night one sexy note higher, and choose to relive his fantasies—the hospital nurse, jungle queen or anyone he wishes you’d be for one night. And let the games begin. Incidentally, studies show that men are auto-tuned for sex when they see red. So add that irresistibility to your ensemble.
Talk dirty to him
Research says that those who are comfortable with sexual communication find greater pleasure during the sex act. Another study published in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships mentions a direct association between the two, "talk dirty and be happier with your sex life", it says. Make your first move by sexting him at work. Tell him how you like to be touched and where. Or message him about how you can’t wait to have his hands on you when he's back home. It’s amazing how even these words can excite the two of you before actually getting into the act. But don’t forget to take the dirty talk into the bedroom too. Whisper dirty nothings into his ears, as you nibble on him softly and let him know how it all excites you. The sounds of your voice will tell him how his touch arouses you. Moan, groan, and watch him give in without a fight.
Body talk
Nature has blessed every woman with bodies that can drive men crazy. So let your body do the talking. Look your man in the eye as you strip slowly. Run your hands through your hair, as you would want him to. In fact, even watching his woman apply lotion and gently massage herself is a complete turn-on for any man. And time your self-love so that it drives your man to leave what he is doing and head straight into your arms.
But no matter what, remember to be you, let go and have fun. Because the seductress is within you—one of the little things that made you irresistible to him in the first place.